I have begun taking on a whole fucking lot. And I love it.
I am trying to meet Seamus' challenge and finish a short sci fi story that I actually love. I have begun working with my colleague Josh Novo on a short horror script. (We're both horror nuts.) I have also begun taking steps to creating an online comic. Strangely enough, people are actually excited about it. Also, totally still trying to master my own TV scripts. I think I'm getting closer. To being a good writer. Seriously.
I've also been working with Angel and Amber on our presentation which is on Feminism and Comedy. It's nuts. There is quite some heat between Amber and Angel. I think they were actually fighting when we did a trial run today. Except fighting is putting it nicely. Amber had so much fire and was so in charge, she is really admirable. Angel was very quiet and meek. I don't know if it was because he didn't believe what he was saying and had trouble arguing for it or because he did believe in what he was saying and was just afraid of Amber. I'd be too.
They read my scene today. I'm not quite sure how it actually went over. In my scene I killed off a main character and found some things I didn't follow up on. That I regretted writing. Or not writing. I just... I don't know how it went. I'm afraid I upset Norman by killing off one of his characters. Not because I didn't like the character but because I knew his death would be a great emotional catalyst. And some people seemed to like the death scene. I do agree that I didn't take my characters grief far enough. I tried taking a different route with grief and I think it was scene as stupid. I am really afraid that Norman doesn't respect my writing. I don't think anyone respects my writing. I am so afraid that I am fulfilling my usual role, the goofy fucking ginger. I want so bad to be taken seriously. I don't mind arguing or people not liking my ideas but I don't want to be the joke. People are already making fun of me for being a character murderer and thinking too big. I just figure if I go big it's easier to reign me in then try and get me to go bigger when I didn't go far enough, like in my scene.
I don't really know what to do.
We hashed some more things out, got closer to the heart of the show, but then we had to go. I took another large risk and tried something. I sent out an email where people could share more ideas about the show. I think it might help us figure stuff out and I love talking about this shit. I do.
I am taking a lot of risks here. I hope it pays off.
No comments:
Post a Comment